Monday, July 10, 2006 . 2:10 PM
Saw this woman in NY one day after eating cupcakes at this cafe. It was supposedly the best place to have cupcakes. Their icing was too sweet if you ask me but I digress. Anyway, I saw this beggar outside the cafe and her eyes were so haunting. Piercing. It literally pierced through my heart when I saw the state that she was in. I don't know if it was the empathy acting up. I just felt so sorry for her and yet grateful for what I have. It was starting to drizzle and she sat there unsheltered. Not literally begging but just sitting there. Her clothing was all torn and tattered. As I walked further away, the urge to give her money grew stronger. As we crossed the road, I ran back and dropped a whole lot of change into her hands. In my defense, I was not being a cheapo cause the only notes I had were in terms of $100 bills and I ain't that selfless. Anyway, she was so thankful and her eyes were just so expressive and swelled with tears.
I have never in my life been so affected by a stranger. I mean whenever I see people suffering, I do sympathise with them but never like this. The feeling is quite indescribable. My heart really went out to her and it reminded me of a verse in the Bible where God says that the poor are blessed in his Kingdom. As I walked, I felt sad. Thinking of what more I could have done for her. And as I strolled past people on the streets of Manhattan, I noticed more clearly everyone's eyes. They all spoke a different language from that of hers. They seemed cold and unfeeling. Was she merely a victim of circumstance or was she just another opportunist, out to manipulate the system and people like me. I wish and think it is the former. I can only pray and pine for the day when all this would end.
People in NY are so caught up in their own world and are quite aloof might I add. Can't blame them. They have to be tough if not society will cast them out. Funny how society can affect and mould us into what we become. The trouble with people is they love their face so much so that masquerading becomes second nature to everyone. Doesn't everyone only want others to see them in the best light possible. People are just not honest with one another. How can we when most people will use it to their advantage. If you are too honest, you might come across as obnoxious. Its hard to find the balance sometimes. We might not be able to help everyone in the world but at least try your best. Its no good saying how there are just too many out there and you can't help much. And yet you end up spending hundreds on frivolous purchases but won't even flinch at the sight of the destitute and helpless. Time to start reflecting people.
To M, You don't have to be flattered really. Knowing you has been a pleasure and I feel that the only thing I want to share with you is this. God should be your top priority and nothing else should matter as much. So maybe God is trying to tell you something when you lose a friend or become close to someone only to be hurt later. Everything happens for a reason. Do not be afraid to grow close. Its quite hard to explain. What I have with my best friend is something I can be proud of and its definitely cause of God that I have who I have. I hope we can be closer in due time. In the meantime, stay strong and continue to run the race.
Slacker
